KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
Nice
Guys: What Are Your Best Features?
When you meet someone you like and you successfully
strike up a conversation (you’ll be successful because you’re
confident, right?), you need to highlight your selling
points.
You’re not going to list them like some crazed car salesman,
but you’re going to be comfortable and casual, and in this
way, you will be conveying important information about yourself
to her.
Here are some tips about shining the spotlight on your best
features:
- Bring
up your interests and accomplishments naturally. If there’s
room in the conversation to do this, then go ahead.
Don’t force it, though. She’ll want to know what you find
exciting and what challenges you’ve tackled. This lets her
know you
have a zest for life and an interest in growing.
- You
can also talk about things you’re passionate about and
have yet
to try, such as parachuting, writing a book, walking
the entire Appalachian Trail, or seeing the Great Wall
of China. This is important because it gives her an idea
of how
you see
your life taking shape, and what you really get excited
about.
- Don’t
try to say things just because they seem right, like “I
love long walks on the beach.” Be original, but
be honest,
too. You can tell her the things you think will impress
her, but only if they’re true for you. If she loves
the outdoors,
you can throw in information about how much you love
to hike. If she seems interested in history, you can let
her
know that
the American Revolution fascinates you.
- Also,
throw in some information that reflects your reliability,
integrity,
intelligence, compassionate
nature, ability
to MacGyver things, or the fact that you own a small
cottage in the North
Country. She wants to know that you’re a solid
person who can think on his feet. The cottage is a nice
addition (make
sure
you really do have one, and if you don’t, don’t worry
about adding that in).
There are some things that you can’t use as selling points,
and they should not be included in “getting to know you” conversations.
These are:
- You
still live with your parents. Unless you are under the
age of 25, or have hellacious college loan debt, this is
a negative. If you’re still
young, it’s just a neutral thing, but it’s not going to
win you any points. There are only certain cases where
this is
acceptable, and they’re few and far between. However, it
is fine to have housemates if you’re in your twenties.
- You
are presently not working. You may be laid off from your
job and searching, or waiting to be called back to work.
That can be explained. But if you are jobless and without
a plan,
unless you’re a retiree, this is not going to be looked
upon favorably.
- You
have some issues that need to be dealt with. This is dicey,
because most of us arrive at adulthood
with the
potential
for issues, and as we go through life, many of us have
things to deal with – that’s fine. No one is without
problems, minor
or major.
But during the initial conversations, you probably don’t need
to bring up a past addiction or similar problem. If you currently
have a problem, you need to take steps to deal productively
with it.
Then, as time goes on, and more information is shared, you
can say, “In the past, I’ve had some issues with _______, but
I’ve been constructively working on this, and feel confident
in the progress I’ve made.”
Now that you know how to sell yourself, start taking stock
of who you are and what you’re all about. This is where you’ll
find the valuable information you want to share with the woman
who might be your partner forever. # # # # #
KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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