KissMeGoodnight Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!

Nice Guys:
Always the Friend, Never the Boyfriend?

We’ve all heard this lament, and maybe it’s come out of your own mouth – “Always a friend, but never a boyfriend.” Ouch! How does that happen, anyway? You’re a nice guy and you’ve demonstrated that you’re stable, reliable, friendly, honest, kind, loyal, and more.

This is how it happens - you have a friend, and that friend is a girl. She trusts you and confides in you. You’re there for her when her idiot boyfriend dumps her, and you’re there when her cat dies, and you’re there at her birthday, and you think she’s great (really great) and she thinks you’re her good, dear friend.

What’s up with that? Why can’t she see that you’d be perfect for her? Sometimes people are just friends, and that’s the extent of it. Or it’s possible that she really likes you, but is waiting for you to do something.

This is a tricky situation, but you don’t have to just wallow in uncertainty and pine after your female friend. Granted, it’s uncomfortable trying to tell her that you like her in more than a platonic way.

She might reject that. She might just want to be friends. She might say she feels the same. You won’t know until you find out. One thing that girls like in men is a certain amount of decisiveness, courage and confidence.

With friends, that’s not necessary. You don’t have anything to prove to her if she’s your friend, but if you want to be more than friends, you do. You have to let her know and you have to deal with the consequences.

If nothing else, just by doing this, you’ll earn a great amount of respect for your courage and honesty. It’s true that you stand to lose a friendship (if you sulk if she rejects you), but you might gain a girlfriend.

If you have a female friend and you’re pretty sure you’d like to take the relationship to a higher level, then you have to give it a shot – and quickly. Women classify you very fast. You’re either in the friend bin or the boyfriend bin. The longer you wait, the worse the outcome. Remember the decisiveness, courage and confidence I mentioned earlier? Well, you had better find it – and show it fast.

Ok, back to your ideal partner. Does your friend meet most of the criteria you seek in a partner? If things got serious, could you deal with her habits (the ones that are okay now because you’re just friends)? Being in this situation isn’t ideal, but it’s not impossible to change it for the better.

You can learn ways to show your feelings and find out how she feels. You can learn ways to boldly go for what you want, without having to employ sleazy, pick-up artist techniques or blurting it out at the wrong time (like right after she’s had her heart broken).

By learning the right way to approach the situation, you might find that your friend is now your girlfriend.

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KissMeGoodnight.com : 2008

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