KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
How
To Weed Out the Wrong Kind of Woman
We’ve all heard the stories about how people
have misrepresented themselves on dating websites by posting
out-of-date photos that don’t reflect what the person looks
like anymore, or by fudging on age or other factors.
We
want to find people to date that are honest, and we don’t
want to get unpleasant surprises when we find out that the
woman we’ve been exchanging messages with is really ten years
older, and her photo is from twelve years ago, before her hair
went completely gray (not that there’s anything wrong with
gray hair)!
What’s the cut-off for fudging on a profile anyway? Is it
acceptable for her to report that she weighs 120 lbs when she
really weighs 135 lbs? Is it okay for her to omit information
like the fact that she has tattoos from head to toe? How do
we weed out the women who are being less than honest with us?
First, it’s not uncommon for people, both men and women, to
conveniently forget that they gained ten pounds over the holidays,
or that they had a birthday six months ago. That doesn’t necessarily
make it right, though.
You’re the only person who can decide if any misleading information
is grounds for kicking someone to the curb, or if certain misrepresentations
are considered outright purposeful dishonesty. If you’re trying
to weed the wrong kinds of women out of your dating pool, then
here’s what you should do:
- Decide
where your “honesty cut-off” is, and don’t waiver from
it. If you do, you’ll always feel that nagging concern
in the back of your mind that she’s not being totally upfront
with you about other things.
- Have
several conversations with a prospective date, online and
by phone if possible
to get to know her before you
even suggest a date. Look for inconsistencies.
- Ask
lots of questions about her life. Don’t try to be a detective
or to conduct an inquisition, just gather lots
of information
to help you make an informed decision about whether
or
not she’d be a good candidate for your romantic life.
- Talk
to her about what you value in life and see how she responds.
Keep this kind of conversation light,
because if
you start to sound like you’re preaching, you’re
going to turn her off.
If it’s seriously important to you that your date
is tattoo-free for example, you could strike up a
conversation
about how you
once considered getting a tattoo, but you decided
that you like the look of the skin you were born
with –
free of artwork.
You can do this with just about any subject - the
way she responds will tell you a lot.
- Make
the first date something very easy to get out of – coffee,
or a walk
in the park, or meeting
at a
popular spot for a quick
drink after work. Set a time limit that you keep.
That way if you meet, and you find that your date
hasn’t
been upfront
with you, you have an easy way out.
Good women are out there, and they’re willing to be upfront
about themselves. They may want to put the accent on their
good traits (that’s just normal) but they won’t misrepresent
themselves just to get a date, and neither should you. Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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