KissMeGoodnight Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!

When Do I Sleep With a Woman?

Sex can be an important part of a relationship, and something that everyone (hopefully) looks forward to. But when is the right time to sleep with a woman? Here’s a hint – it’s not the first date.

For some, the answer will be strictly after marriage. For others, the issue is more gray than black and white. There are several factors that help decide when it’s time to go to bed, so let’s have a look at them.

Your moral compasses - Depending on your religious beliefs, upbringing and your own personal beliefs, you will make a decision about when is the right time for you. Likewise for her. After you’ve been dating for a while, you will learn how she feels about sex.

If the kisses are getting hotter and steamier, you will probably sense that she’s thinking about it too, but that doesn’t mean she’ll just fall into your bed. She may believe that sex should wait for marriage, or at least for a strong commitment, or just a few more drinks. When the time is right, you may want to have a respectful conversation about it. But don’t pressure her.

Sometimes a woman is ready to get hot and heavy fairly quickly. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s a bad girl. She may have very open views about sex. If she’s willing and you are, then go for it. However, be aware that just because she’s having sex with you doesn’t mean she’s in love with you. She could be viewing the sex as simply a fun thing to do.

It’s best to wait until you and she are both sure that you like each other enough. Sometimes (not all the time), having sex makes either her or you (or both of you) think of commitment, as in, you really wanted each other, you did it, it was great, now you have to commit.

But here’s the thing – you might not really be ready to. This is confusing. Yes, people can have sex and not be committed. But for some people, having sex means having to make a commitment – this might be subconscious, but it’s there. You need to know whether a commitment is expected by either of you if you do the deed.

There’s a school of thought that says it will be better if you don’t rush into it, but rather give the anticipation and wanting on both sides plenty of time to build up a bit. It’s worth considering.

Bottom line? Only you and your special girl know when it’s time to take your romantic relationship to a more serious level. If you and she share the same beliefs about what sex is for, what it means and all of that, you already have a moral compass in place.

If you have no idea how she feels about it, and you’re thinking about it all the time, you need to get an idea of where she’s at without pressuring her. If you’ve been dating for awhile, and you like each other and are comfortable around each other (and if you aren’t, don’t bother with sex), you can ask her about it. Until you’re both on the same page, nothing can happen unless you want a possible disaster on your hands.

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KissMeGoodnight.com : 2008

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