KissMeGoodnight eRomance Series: Online Dating
Online Dating & Personal Ads -
Super Secrets To Finding Your Mate
( 17 pages )

How To Search For An Online Date

Keyword Searches

So now that you have decided what is it that interests you in a person and what your interests and tastes are, try such keyword searches in your favorite search engine or dating site.

The idea is not to advertise yourself as a person who is in search of a life partner. No matter how well you put it, it loses that touch of subtlety once you are in a singles’ chat room. So don’t do it that way. You remember how we spoke about working backwards; this is how it is done.

I will tell you how to project yourself best later on, but for now let us talk about finding Mr. Right or Ms. Right. An interesting thing to be noted here is that it is not difficult to fall in love with a person or to make a choice. The difficult part is to make the right choice and to fall in love with the right person.

Likes Versus Dislikes

The second thing that you could do is chalk out a list of qualities that you genuinely dislike in a person. Yes I am not joking! Dislikes are just as important, or even more important than likes. We all have to make compromises here and there, but if we start right away by condoning things which we genuinely dislike, it is going to hurt the relationship at sometime or the other.

I would like to give a word of caution. A lot of people make a mistake when they are courting. They put up their best behavior which is very good of course, but they try to be very adjusting and accommodating which is NOT very good. A point that they tend to overlook is that they are not going on a camping trip with the person that they are trying to impress; they are going to be living the rest of their lives with the person.

So it is best not to be “oh so very accommodating and adjusting.”

You can afford to stick to things that you are very particular about. And if you have any thoughts that you will be able to mold the person out of his or her offending habits at a later date, forget it.

The moment you start trying to mold or cajole the person out of his or her habits, whatever they may be, the word becomes ‘nagging’ and if at all the person does drop the habit, he or she will love you less for it.

It really doesn’t work that way. So it’s best to have a clear idea about qualities and habits that you genuinely dislike in a person and steer clear of the ‘lesser mortals’ who have those habits.

Once you have a fairly clear idea about your likes and dislikes you are in a better position to make the right choice. And considering the multitude of people out there, you do not have to worry or be over anxious that you just might not find any one at all. He or she is out there, and if you are doing what you are doing right, namely barking up the right tree, you will succeed.

There are some people who even believe that everything is ordained. It has been written down who should marry who and in the end only that which should happen will happen. Well, I don’t know about that, but I do know that dating helps speed up the process.

Another thing that you could do is that you could just let nature take its course. Oh nature has its wonderful ways. There is a lot of chemistry involved in the selection of a partner so maybe the best thing you could do is lend nature a helping hand.

Friends First

Try to look at this endeavor not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but as an effort to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends. Friends that you can laugh aloud with, friends who make you laugh. Not everyone can make us laugh, and when I say laugh, I am not referring to some comedian. We are talking about friends here.

It really does pay to have a lot of friends. It makes ones life richer. The best thing about friends is that you can be yourself with them. And they too can be themselves with you. And that means letting it all out. We must remember that apart from being the dutiful husband or wife, your spouse should be your best friend as well.

That is one mistake that most couples make. They tend to look upon their friends and their spouses as separate. While it is perfectly ok to have your own friends, your best friend should be your husband or wife.

It should be someone you can share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your darkest day.

All this is a very far cry from sex right? That is why we did mention earlier that looks and sex should be the last criteria in the selection of a life partner. The marriage proposal must come as a natural sequence and it should by no means be the first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up to a person. You cannot very well say something like, “hey, you know what, I think we have the same tastes so let’s get married.”

You can say that, of course, but it would not be in very good taste. So what do you do if you discover that one of the friends that you made and the one who you were keeping your fingers crossed about is already married?

Do you have a car? Then the answer is simple, just run over that person’s spouse and remove the unwanted element, right? Wrong! It is just not done. You can still be friends with that person and shift your attention in another direction. Who knows, you might even find a better person. All you have to do is shuffle your cards and deal them out again.

I hope you have got the hang of what I meant by working backwards? Good. There is another catch involved in this process. There is a chance that one of the friends you made may have read this guide too, and maybe the proposal will come from the other end. If it does, then well and good; for it saves you the ritual.

Mr. Right and Ms. Wrong

But then, what if the person who proposes to you wasn’t really what you had in mind? Well, the choice is yours of course; you can take it or leave it. But there is a point worth considering. If you can find someone that you love that is good, but if you find some one who loves us, isn’t that better?

I would also like to add a word. Suppose someone does come and propose to you but unfortunately, you are not in the least interested? You have every right to turn the proposal down but please do it gracefully. There is no need to hurt the other person’s ego. This person is obviously a friend of yours, and surely you care deeply for them. However, if you know that you cannot marry this person, a turned-down proposal is better than a divorce. Try to explain your feelings in the gentlest way possible.

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