KissMeGoodnight
eRomance Series:
Online Dating & Personal Ads:
Sizzling Secrets To Success
( 17 pages )
Key
Word Searches
So now that
you have decided what is it that interests you in a person
and what your interests and tastes are, try such key word
searches on a search engine like Google.
The idea over
here is not to advertise yourself as a person who is in search
of a life partner. No matter how well you put it, it looses
that touch of subtlety once you are in a singles’ chat room.
So don’t do it that way. You remember how we spoke about working
backwards; this is how it is done.
We will tell
you how to project yourself best in a later chapter but for
now let us talk about finding Mr. Right or Ms. Right. An interesting
thing to be noted here is that it is not difficult to fall
in love with a person or to make a choice. The difficult part
is to make the right choice and to fall in love with the right
person.
Likes
Versus Dislikes
The second thing
that you could do is chalk out a list of qualities that you
genuinely dislike in a person. Yes I am not joking! Dislikes
are just as important, or even more important than likes.
We all have to make compromises here and there, but if we
start away by condoning things which we genuinely dislike,
it is going to tell on the relationship at sometime or the
other.
I would like
to give a word of caution over here. A lot of people make
a mistake when they are courting. They put up their best behavior
which is very good of course, but they try to be very adjusting
and accommodating which is NOT very good. A point that they
tend to over look is that they are not going to be going on
a camping trip with this person that they are trying to impress;
they are going to be living the rest of their lives with the
person.
So it is best
not to be very “oh so very accommodating and adjusting.”
You can afford
to stick to things that you are very particular about. And
if you have any thoughts that you will be able to mold the
person out of his or her offending habits at a later date,
forget it.
The moment you
start trying to mold or cajole the person out of his or her
habits, whatever they may be, the word becomes ‘nagging’ and
if at all the person does drop the habit, he or she will love
you less for it.
It really doesn’t
work that way. So it’s best to have a clear idea about qualities
and habits that you genuinely dislike in a person and steer
clear of the ‘lesser mortals’ who have those habits.
Once you have a fairly clear idea about your likes and dislikes
you are in a better position to make the right choice. And
considering the multitude of people out there, you do not
have to worry or be over anxious that you just might not find
any one at all. He or she is out there, and if you are doing
what you are doing right, namely barking up the right tree
you will succeed.
There are some
people who even believe that every thing is ordained. It has
been written down who should marry who and in the end only
that which should happen will happen. Well, I don’t know about
that, but I do know that dating helps speed up the process.
Another thing
that you could do is that you could just let nature take its
course. Oh nature has its wonderful ways. There is a lot of
chemistry involved in the selection of partner so maybe the
best thing we could do is lend nature a helping hand.
Friends
First
Try to look
at this endeavor not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but
as an effort to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends.
Friends that you can laugh aloud with, friends who make you
laugh. Not everyone can make us laugh, and when I say laugh,
I am not referring to some comedian. We are talking about
friends here.
It really does
pay to have a lot of friends. It makes ones life richer. The
best thing about friends is that you can be yourself with
them. And they too can be themselves with you. And that means
letting it all out. We must remember that apart from being
the dutiful husband or wife, your spouse should be your best
friend as well.
That is one
mistake that most couples make. They tend to look upon their
friends and their spouses as separate. While it is perfectly
ok to have your own friends, your best friend should always
be your husband or wife.
It should be
someone you can share your dreams and fears with, someone
who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze
when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your
darkest day.
All this is
a very far cry from sex right? That is why we did mention
earlier that looks and sex should be the last criteria in
the selection of a life partner. The marriage proposal must
come as a natural sequence and it should by no means be the
first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up to a person.
You cannot very well say something like, “hey, you know what,
I think we have the same tastes so let’s get married.”
You can say
that of course but it would not be in very good taste. So
what do you do if you discover that one of the friends that
you made and the one who you were keeping your fingers crossed
about is already married?
Do you have
a car? Then the answer is simple, just run over that person’s
spouse and remove the unwanted element, right? Wrong! It is
just not done. You can still be friends with that person and
shift your attention towards another direction. Who knows,
you might even find a better person. All you have to do is
shuffle your cards and deal them out again.
I hope you have
got the hang of what we meant by working backwards now? Good.
There is another catch involved in this process. There is
a chance that one of the friends that you made may have read
this Life Guide too and maybe the proposal may come from the
other end. If it does, then well and good; for it saves you
the ritual.
Mr.
Right and Ms. Wrong
But then, what
if the person who proposes to you wasn’t really what you had
in mind? Well, the choice is yours of course; you can take
it or leave it. But there is a point worth considering over
here. If we can find someone that we love that is good, but
if we find some one who loves us, isn’t that better?
But I would
also like to add a word over here. Suppose some one does
come
and propose to you but unfortunately, you are not in the
least interested? You have every right to turn the proposal
down
but please do it gracefully. There is no need to hurt the
other person’s ego. This person is obviously a friend
of yours,
and surely you care deeply for them. However, if you know
that you cannot marry this person, a turned-down proposal
is better than a divorce. Try to explain your feelings in
the gentlest way possible.
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