Compromise
and Balance:
Managing Your Relationship Matrix
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
In general a matrix is a table of data containing
information in both rows and columns. Specifically a relationship
matrix could be one that is used to determine your genealogical
relationship to another. However in terms of relationships,
the relationship matrix often refers to how compatible
you and your partner are in respect to certain issues such
as communication,
interests, and financial and career. While the partners do
not have to agree completely in all or any of these areas,
finding a balance is critical to a healthy relationship.
Communication
is one of the factors in the relationship matrix. Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion
and without much thought to your words to speaking based on
logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before
you begin speaking. On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion,
often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect
their feelings at the moment they are speaking. On the other
hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends
much time calculating their words before they speak. This speaker
rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies
on facts to support their argument. While neither style of
speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship
if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum. These
problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is
frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the
logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated
by the lack of restraint shown by their partner. The partners
can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by
trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.
The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away
from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the
logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without
so much restraint in the future.
Interests
and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship. Sharing
common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because
it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners. They
are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings
them closer together. If a couple has no common hobbies, this
can be detrimental to the relationship because the members
of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking
an interest in their activities. While this may sound simple
enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this
aspect of the relationship matrix is very important. Having
too many interests in common can result in one or both of the
partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing
no interest in your partner’s activities indicates a lack of
caring.
Financial
and career aspirations are a tricky part of the
relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in
a relationship. There are two extremes for approaching finances
and career. On one extreme there is the logical and conservative
partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal
partner. These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so
it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance.
While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances
and career the other prefers a more conservative route. Such
extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with
each other. This frustration stems from the partners both being
uncomfortable with the other’s approach. For example the more
liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner
sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good
while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal
partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable.
In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it
helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more
to in the middle of the road. Reaching a compromise that is
moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that
the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced.
The
key to managing the relationship matrix is balance. Finding
a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such
as communication, interests and finances will result in a much
happier and healthier relationship. While complete agreement
is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness
to make compromises and understand your partner’s positions
on the matrix is critical.
# # # # #
KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
> Home > Dating
& Relationship Articles:
Main Page |
