Dating
Advice for Widows
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
Dating a widow can be a complicated situation.
Although it is true that many widows eventually wind up dating
again it is important not to rush them into the situation.
They are the only ones who will truly know when they
are over their grief and ready to enter into another romantic
relationship. It may seem logical that a woman who has recently lost her
husband may want to find the security of another relationship
but this is often not the case. The key to dating a widow is
to follow their lead and allow them to dictate the pace of
the relationship.
For
many widows the grieving process is long and in some cases
may even last several years. Depending on the situation of
her husband’s death as well as the widow’s personality, the
grieving period could vary considerably. For this reason it
is not wise to assume that the widow will be ready to date
again after a certain amount of time. Those who ask a widow
out to date simply because they think that the woman should
be ready to date again and not because they are seeing signs
that the woman is ready to date run the risk of being rejected
and considered inconsiderate by the woman. If the husband’s
death was sudden or unexpected, it is understandable that the
grieving process will be lengthy as coping with the situation
may be very difficult to a woman who is widowed at an early
age and unexpectedly. Older women who have been dealing
with a terminally ill husband may be ready to date sooner than
those
who did not have warning of their husband’s death. This does
not mean that those who were involved with a husband who was
sick for a very long time love their husbands any less than
those who lost their husband in a sudden accident. The explanation
for this is that the women with the sick husbands have had
the opportunity to begin their grieving process while their
husband was still alive. If you know the widow well you will
probably be able to judge when they might be open to dating
again by their appearance, mood and words. As the grieving
subsides you may notice that the widow’s mood improves and
she begins to take more care in her appearance. She may even
begin to talk about dating again. When you start seeing these
signs, it is appropriate to ask a widow to accompany you on
a date.
Another
important tip for dating a widow is to not try to replace
her husband. It is important to understand that while
she may be looking for a new relationship, she is not looking
for a duplicate of her previous relationship. Attempting to
be too much like her deceased husband can have the effect of
making her miss her husband even more. Understand that the
widow is interested in dating you for who you are and not as
an attempt to recreate the relationship that she had with her
husband. This will ensure that you aren’t trying to fill an
impossible role by trying to be someone that you aren’t.
It
is natural that there will be a time when the widow wants
to speak about her deceased husband. If you are dating a widow,
you can expect that there will be times such as the anniversary
of his death or his birthday that your girlfriend may feel
sentimental of her husband. It is important to not be jealous
of these feelings and to allow her to reminisce about these
times. It is acceptable for occasional bouts of longing for
her former husband but allowing these feelings to dominate
the relationship can be unhealthy. It is important to be there
for your girlfriend when she is feeling particularly sad and
wants to talk but if her obsession becomes unhealthy, you should
encourage her to seek counseling to work through her feelings.
A
widow can be part of a healthy relationship with a few
simple precautions. It is important for both the widow and the person
they are dating to realize that their relationship is not a
replacement for the widow’s previous relationship but rather
a completely knew experience. It is also important to let the
widow set the pace for the relationship. She is the only one
who will know when she is ready to start dating again. She
is also the one who will realize when she needs a little time
to herself to reminisce about her former husband. Letting the
widow set the pace for the relationship is very important but
it is equally important to step in if the widow is not thinking
rationally and is starting to become seriously depressed over
the loss of her husband in a way that is affecting her other
relationships.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
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