Dating
Again After a Divorce
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
Although in some situations a divorce could
be for the best, it is still usually a traumatic event that
may cause an individual to shy away from the dating scene for
a while. This healing process is completely normal. The previous
relationship may have had its faults but it also probably had
many good points that the newly divorced individual will miss.
Additionally, for many a divorce signifies a failure and the
person may blame themselves for not being able to make the
relationship work. It’s important to remember that a divorce
is a serious life event and that it may require a time to heal
before you re-enter the dating scene.
It’s hard for someone on the outside or someone who has never
experienced a divorce to understand that the individual may
not be ready to date right away. If you have recently gone
through a divorce and your friends are urging you to get back
into the dating scene but you just don’t feel ready, don’t
be afraid to tell them that you need more time. They may think
that you are being ridiculous but you are the only one who
will truly know when you are ready to start dating again. Trust
your own instincts and don’t allow others to rush you back
into the dating scene.
If
you have children from your previous marriage, it is important
to consider their feelings before starting to date again. Although
you can’t allow your children to prevent you from re-entering
the dating scene ever, it is important to realize that they
are also going through a difficult time and it may be necessary
to wait a little longer than you had planned to help them work
through their feelings and to understand that you are not trying
to replace their other parent in their lives. Once both you
and your children feel positive about you starting to date,
it is acceptable to begin dating again.
One
of the best ways to prepare yourself to re-enter the dating
scene is to discuss your feelings with a trusted friend. Just
talking about any apprehensions you may have about dating again
or feelings of guilt that you have lingering from the divorce
may be enough to help you feel ready to date again. Your friends
are there for you whenever you need them and sometimes just
speaking of your troubles helps them to dissipate. Freeing
yourself of the thoughts that are plaguing you will prepare
you to re-enter the dating scene.
Sometimes though talking to a friend is not enough. There
are instances when it is advisable to seek the assistance of
a professional counselor to help you with your feelings. If
you are beginning to feel depressed over your divorce to the
point where it is interfering with your life and work or if
you are experiencing feelings of guilt, hate or other emotions
that are becoming the main focus of your life then clinical
help may be necessary to return you to a healthy balance of
emotions. Once this happens you may feel ready to return to
the dating scene. You and your counselor can work together
to establish goals for you that will help you to ease back
into dating. For example you may challenge yourself to meet
one new person a day for one week. If you are successful at
this step you can challenge yourself to ask a platonic friend
out for coffee or lunch. These small steps can continue until
you progress to the point where you are confident enough to
start dating again.
Having
a trusted friend set you up on a blind date can be a fun
way to return to the dating scene. This eliminates the
step of having to meet a potential date and actually ask them
out or be asked out by them. This step can be one of the most
intimidating aspects of the dating process but if you have
a friend set you up on a blind date, you can enjoy the fun
of dating without the hassle of having to meet someone.
Starting to date again after a divorce can be frightening
especially if you were married or involved with your ex-spouse
for a significant amount of time. The longer you have been
out of the dating scene the harder it can be to get back into
it but hopefully the tips in this article will help to ease
your anxiety about getting back into the dating scene.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
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