KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Relationship Advice
Am I Being Emotionally Abused In My Relationship?
Does your partner emotionally abuse you? Emotional
abuse can be subtle and difficult to recognize. But this type
of abuse can erode your feelings of self-worth and chip away
at the happiness you deserve. How can you recognize the signs
of abuse so you can take steps to protect yourself?
Threatening Behavior
An abusive person shows his tendency for violence in many
ways. He may punch walls, kick the dog, break down doors, or
show other violent behavior. Some forms of violence, however,
are less obvious. Emotional violence can be just as dangerous
and destructive.
How to Tell if You're Being Emotionally Abused
Emotional abuse often manifests itself in these ways:
1.
Isolation. Sometimes, a person in a relationship can become
possessive. A possessive person tells you he cares for your
safety, and that his possessive behavior proves that he loves
you. Taken to the extreme, possessiveness becomes isolation.
The goal of isolation is to control you by breaking down your
emotional will to resist.
- The
desire to isolate could be caused by your partner's insecurity.
He may project that insecurity onto you by trying
to control everything you do, who you meet, and where you
go. He may try to make you feel guilty for enjoying yourself
or
making friends.
2.
Verbal abuse. Regular verbal attacks on your character
and value destroys your self-esteem. Continuous verbal assaults
may cause you to put aside your most important ideals and beliefs.
- Verbal
abuse is characterized by critical or humiliating remarks
about you as a person. If your partner continuously
puts you down and makes you feel unworthy of self-respect,
this is a warning sign that something is definitely wrong.
Verbal abuse may escalate into sexual or physical abuse
if you avoid taking action to protect yourself.
3.
Financial abuse. Unless you're financially independent,
you can leave your finances vulnerable to a partner with abusive
tendencies. He may deny you access to funds, refuse to allow
you to work outside the home or spend money irresponsibly and
blame the financial struggles on you.
Next Steps
If you're the victim of continuous emotional abuse within
your relationship, the most important steps are to recognize
the abuse and know that it is wrong. This can be a challenge
for anyone who has been emotionally bullied over a period of
time.
You are worthy of respect, and you can live a life that is
free from the emotional abuse of your partner. Think honestly
about your relationship and ask yourself these questions:
- Does
your partner show, by his words and actions, that he loves
you and values you?
- Does
he seek your opinion as someone who has much to contribute?
- Does
he raise his voice and criticize you often, while hardly
ever providing words of affirmation that lift
you up?
If you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, take steps
to change your circumstances. Seek friends who build you up
and affirm that you're valuable, and spend time with those
friends. Consider couple's counseling so you can change the
way you relate to each other.
Protect Yourself
If you decide to leave an emotionally abusive relationship,
it's important to take precautions to protect yourself. If
you choose to walk away, remember that the abuse may continue.
Take these necessary steps to protect yourself:
- Contact
law enforcement officials and inform them about your situation.
Request a restraining order or other protection
against attacks from your partner.
- Set
up a security system in your new home.
- Advise
your neighbors of your current situation, and enlist their
help in watching
out for signs of trouble.
Most of all, remember that you are valuable. Anyone who makes
you feel otherwise can only do so if you let him. Enlist the
help of emotionally strong, positive friends. Take action.
Protect yourself. Replace emotional abuse with strength and
confidence in your self-worth. You will emerge stronger and
happier when you begin to take these steps today.
Ladies, click here to learn what goes on inside a man's head. It's a woman's guide to the male mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation for you.
Guys, click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation for you.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2010
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