The
Art of Giving Compliments
and Sounding Sincere
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
The key to giving compliments is sounding
sincere so that the recipient of the compliment is
truly flattered and appreciative of the compliment. An insincere compliment
does not convey the same message. If you are giving the compliment
for your own personal gain, your lack of sincerity will result
in the person receiving the compliment not really feeling touched
by your words. Sincere compliments are simple, timely and they
are not premeditated. A sincere compliment is also often given
in the presence of others.
When complimenting someone it’s important to keep
your compliment simple and specific. A compliment that is too over the top
sounds forced and does not seem sincere. Instead of gushing
about the recipient of the compliment offer a simple compliment
on a specific achievement. The simplicity of the compliment
will sound more genuine than if you had gone into great detail
in your compliment. Also offering a compliment on a specific
achievement instead of making a generalization shows that your
compliment is sincere because you realize the importance of
the achievement. Offering a sincere compliment doesn’t have
to be difficult, just keep your words simple and focus on the
reason you are giving the compliment.
Offering
your compliment in a timely manner is also important
to sounding sincere. A compliment is most likely to be perceived
as being genuine if it is offered relatively soon after the
achievement is attained. For example it would be appropriate
to offer a college a compliment on a job well done on a project
within a day or two of completion of the project because you
see them on a daily basis while not offering the compliment
almost immediately may result in it being perceived as insincere.
However if you hear that a former co-worker has just received
a promotion it is appropriate to wait until the next time you
see them to offer your compliment or you may send them an email
within a week or two of hearing the news. In the first example
your daily contact with the other person warrants a compliment
be given quickly while in the second example your distance
allows you to wait a little longer before offering a compliment
without the compliment seeming forced or out of place.
Sincere compliments are spoken
from the heart and are not
premeditated. A true compliment is spoken freely and without
much thought while rehearsing and planning a compliment appears
obligatory and insincere. While thinking before you speak is
generally a good idea, putting too much thought into a compliment
can have the effect of not seeming genuine. When offering a
compliment let your emotions speak instead of calculating your
words and your compliment will seem sincere.
Additionally a sincere compliment is also either
given in writing or offered in front of others. Doing this places additional
validity on the compliment. A compliment offered in writing
or in the presence of witnesses conveys sincerity by virtue
of the fact that the person offering the compliment is willing
to allow proof of the compliment. Compliments given verbally
with no witnesses may in fact be sincere but offering the compliments
in front of others is more effective if you want to appear
sincere.
Finally the most important and also most obvious way to give
a compliment and sound sincere is to truly believe
in the compliment you are giving. If you are genuinely impressed with a person
or their actions and offer an honest compliment, your sincerity
will shine through and the other person will be duly impressed
and flattered by your compliment. It may sound overly simple
but resist the temptation to give a compliment that you don’t
really mean. Compliments are also given for reasons other than
sincerity such as personal gain and these compliments are rarely
seen as sincere. However, when a compliment is given simply
because there is a feeling of admiration for the person receiving
the compliment, the sincerity is obvious.
The art of giving a sincere compliment involves a number of
factors. Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that
a sincere compliment stems from a genuine feeling
of admiration. Also offering a compliment without thoughts of personal gain
is also imperative to giving a sincere compliment. While these
two factors ensure that your compliment is sincere the next
few factors ensure that your compliment is received as being
sincere. Speaking from your heart and not rehearsing a compliment
and offering your compliment in a timely manner and preferably
in front of others create the appearance of a sincere compliment.
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KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
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