The Art of Giving Compliments
and Sounding Sincere
- by KissMeGoodnight.com

The key to giving compliments is sounding sincere so that the recipient of the compliment is truly flattered and appreciative of the compliment. An insincere compliment does not convey the same message. If you are giving the compliment for your own personal gain, your lack of sincerity will result in the person receiving the compliment not really feeling touched by your words. Sincere compliments are simple, timely and they are not premeditated. A sincere compliment is also often given in the presence of others.

When complimenting someone it’s important to keep your compliment simple and specific. A compliment that is too over the top sounds forced and does not seem sincere. Instead of gushing about the recipient of the compliment offer a simple compliment on a specific achievement. The simplicity of the compliment will sound more genuine than if you had gone into great detail in your compliment. Also offering a compliment on a specific achievement instead of making a generalization shows that your compliment is sincere because you realize the importance of the achievement. Offering a sincere compliment doesn’t have to be difficult, just keep your words simple and focus on the reason you are giving the compliment.

Offering your compliment in a timely manner is also important to sounding sincere. A compliment is most likely to be perceived as being genuine if it is offered relatively soon after the achievement is attained. For example it would be appropriate to offer a college a compliment on a job well done on a project within a day or two of completion of the project because you see them on a daily basis while not offering the compliment almost immediately may result in it being perceived as insincere. However if you hear that a former co-worker has just received a promotion it is appropriate to wait until the next time you see them to offer your compliment or you may send them an email within a week or two of hearing the news. In the first example your daily contact with the other person warrants a compliment be given quickly while in the second example your distance allows you to wait a little longer before offering a compliment without the compliment seeming forced or out of place.

Sincere compliments are spoken from the heart and are not premeditated. A true compliment is spoken freely and without much thought while rehearsing and planning a compliment appears obligatory and insincere. While thinking before you speak is generally a good idea, putting too much thought into a compliment can have the effect of not seeming genuine. When offering a compliment let your emotions speak instead of calculating your words and your compliment will seem sincere.

Additionally a sincere compliment is also either given in writing or offered in front of others. Doing this places additional validity on the compliment. A compliment offered in writing or in the presence of witnesses conveys sincerity by virtue of the fact that the person offering the compliment is willing to allow proof of the compliment. Compliments given verbally with no witnesses may in fact be sincere but offering the compliments in front of others is more effective if you want to appear sincere.

Finally the most important and also most obvious way to give a compliment and sound sincere is to truly believe in the compliment you are giving. If you are genuinely impressed with a person or their actions and offer an honest compliment, your sincerity will shine through and the other person will be duly impressed and flattered by your compliment. It may sound overly simple but resist the temptation to give a compliment that you don’t really mean. Compliments are also given for reasons other than sincerity such as personal gain and these compliments are rarely seen as sincere. However, when a compliment is given simply because there is a feeling of admiration for the person receiving the compliment, the sincerity is obvious.

The art of giving a sincere compliment involves a number of factors. Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that a sincere compliment stems from a genuine feeling of admiration. Also offering a compliment without thoughts of personal gain is also imperative to giving a sincere compliment. While these two factors ensure that your compliment is sincere the next few factors ensure that your compliment is received as being sincere. Speaking from your heart and not rehearsing a compliment and offering your compliment in a timely manner and preferably in front of others create the appearance of a sincere compliment.

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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005

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