Single
Moms:
Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Children
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
Single moms may struggle with the idea of
introducing their boyfriend to their children but this doesn’t
have to be an awkward situation. Society has changed significantly
from the time when today’s adults where children and today’s
children are much more savvy than their historical counterparts.
It is very likely that your own children have friends
who have single parents who are involved in romantic relationship. It
is no longer a stigma to be a child who comes from a divorced
home. The keys to introducing your boyfriend to your children
are timing, honesty and compassion.
Children are a very important part of a parent’s life and
it is important that you are clear with your dates
from the very beginning about the fact that you have children. This
is important for a number of reasons. First of all it makes
your partner aware of your situation which the fair thing to
do. Not all people are interested in becoming involved in a
relationship that includes children so it is best to know right
from the start how your partner feels about children. While
it is important to let your partner know that you have children,
it is not necessary to introduce your boyfriend to your children
until the relationship begins to become serious. It is unfair
to the children and your boyfriend to put them in a situation
where they can form an emotional bond before you are sure that
the relationship will last. It can be very confusing and hurtful
for the children if they get used to you boyfriend and believe
that he will be their father and the relationship does not
last.
When you decide that it is time to introduce your boyfriend
to your children, discuss the subject with them beforehand
and make sure that they understand that the man they are going
to be meeting is a special friend of yours. It’s important
to stress to your children that your boyfriend is not a replacement
for their father but simply an additional adult figure in their
lives. Having this conversation with your children before they
meet your boyfriend gives them the chance to get used to the
idea before the official meeting. It also gives the children
a chance to voice their opinions about the idea of you dating
and being in a serious relationship. Your children may feel
hesitant to speak up about their feelings in front of your
boyfriend so giving them the chance to do so before the meeting
will ensure that you receive their honest reaction.
After
you have spoken to the children about your boyfriend ask
them if they would like to choose the location for the
meeting. Giving them the opportunity to make even a small decision
can help to prevent them from feeling powerless in the situation.
If they get to decide on the location, they may feel more relaxed
and less inclined to be guarded with your boyfriend. It is
still natural to expect your children to remain somewhat distant
in the beginning but if they are at least allowed to pick the
meeting location they may be more open to the meeting. This
simple step demonstrates to your children that you understand
their fears and apprehensions and that you are willing to make
compromises to help make the situation easier for them.
Finally, when
the time comes for your boyfriend to meet your children
try to keep things as simple as possible. It is not
necessary in this preliminary meeting to go into great detail
about your relationship with your boyfriend. In your initial
conversation you had the opportunity to explain the significance
of the relationship to your child. In this meeting, however,
it is recommended that you keep the conversation light and
allow your boyfriend and children to get to know each other
by asking questions or sharing information about themselves.
There will be plenty of time in the future to discuss the situation
in depth so there is no need to cloud the initial meeting with
a lot of details.
Although
your children may be resistant to the idea of meeting your
boyfriend, if the relationship is becoming serious, it
is important to introduce your boyfriend to your children.
Have a private conversation with your children before the introduction
to prepare them for the situation and to allow them the opportunity
to express their feelings. You may also wish to allow your
children to choose the location for the meeting to ensure that
they do not feel powerless in the situation. Also, try not
to make the initial meeting too stressful for the children.
Keeping things simple will result in there being more focus
on the children and your boyfriend forming a relationship instead
of on trying to figure out how your boyfriend will fit into
the pictures.
Ladies, click here to learn what goes on inside a man's head. It's a woman's guide to the male mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation for you.
Guys, click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation for you.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
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