KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
I
Feel Like I am in a Bad Marriage
Being in a bad marriage rates right up there
with open heart surgery and root canal. Good marriages are
hard enough to maintain because in all marriages there are
ups and downs, good days and bad nights.
Yet, many
married couples elect to endure the bad situation for various
reasons. Some are not even aware of the seriousness
of the problem. If you’re experiencing a bad marriage, you
should be the first one to know, right? Not necessarily.
Spouses who’ve come from homes of bad marriages often think
this is the norm. They watched their parents tolerate a loveless
marriage for the sake of the children. This usually doesn’t
do the child any favors.
They grow up with a misconception of how a happy family should
function. Then, when they encounter a similar rocky marriage
they do nothing but roll with the punches, sometimes literally.
Signs
of a bad marriage include no communication, no intimacy
and no affection. There could also be physical and verbal abuse.
If the husband or wife invents excuses to stay away from home,
something is wrong. Without talking to each other there can
be no hope for rectifying the situation. You must seek solutions
together, accept what’s wrong and discuss change.
Don’t allow yourself to fall into a state of denial. You may
consider marriage sacred and fear seeking help for fear of
failure. Others remain in a bad marriage for the sake of the
children or they’re afraid of hurting friends or members of
the extended family. Don’t become a martyr to protect the feelings
of others. Admit your situation and seek help.
People hold on to the hope they can salvage the marriage themselves
and wait more than six years to finally give in a seek therapy
or counseling. More than half the couples who seek a third
party’s advice manage to save the marriage.
The sad news is that only one percent of couples seek therapy
or counseling. You may know what the problems are but are afraid
to admit them to yourself. A counselor can bring out the truth
and offer remedies.
We often times are caught up in the Hollywood fantasy that
in the end all things will work out and love will conquer all.
It’s good to keep a positive attitude but there are times when
you need someone to point out the strengths and weaknesses
of your marriage. They can help you distinguish between infatuation
and true love.
Living in a bad marriage can be dangerous to your health.
Studies have shown that a bad marriage can lead to poor health
and stress, not only for you but the entire family. The constant
stress and unhappiness increase the risk of depression, eating
disorders and coronary health. It also lowers the body’s resistance
to sickness and disease.
Don’t
be embarrassed by your situation and remain quiet and submissive.
A bad marriage can be repaired with love, respect
and a commitment to resolve the problems.
You
must be honest with yourself and decide if your marriage
is worth saving.
Most marriages are, but the decision is yours.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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