KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
Why
Communication is Key in a Marriage
Lack
of communication is listed as one of the main causes for
an unhappy marriage and even divorce. That’s
really not surprising. When you were a baby and weren’t able
to communicate, what did you do? You cried and threw a tantrum
until somebody figured out what your needs were. Now that you’re
grown up that won’t work although it’s tried in some form by
many spouses.
Good
communication takes practice. Remember, you’re communicating
even though you may not be talking. Your body language and
actions can speak volumes about what you like and dislike.
Facial expressions say a lot too. Do you still smile at your
spouse? Some spouses are afraid to smile or be too nice for
fear of being asked to do something they don’t want to do.
If that’s your attitude, maybe it’s time to talk. If you’re
not happy with your relationship be honest about it and seek
a solution. Solutions usually begin at the bargaining table
where both parties are willing to negotiate and come up with
a solution both can live with.
Find
a good and convenient time to communicate. If either
of you has a pressing project that needs to be completed or
an upcoming appointment, then agree to a more convenient time.
At least you’ve made the effort and the cards are on the table.
Don’t trap your spouse in a situation where they must listen
such as driving to visit the in laws. You may not be in a good
mood when you arrive if this happens.
Be
tactful in suggesting a talk is necessary. Don’t be demanding
but suggest you’d like to visit a while about such and such
as soon as they have time. This gives both of you time to organize
your thoughts. It’s not good to come to the table unprepared.
Know what you’re unhappy with and how you’d suggest the problem
be solved.
Once you’re talking, be
a good listener. Listening is as important
as talking. If your spouse is not as good at communicating
as you then compensate. Repeat what they’ve said by commenting
something like “Here’s what I think you’re trying to say.”
Don’t talk down to your spouse and make them feel inadequate.
Both opinions are equally important.
Don’t
have distractions when talking like the radio or TV
and certainly not when the kids are present. Bringing up a
problem during dinner is not appropriate. That would qualify
as trapping your partner and problem ruin both your appetites.
Your attention must be undivided and you must make eye contact.
Allow enough time for a complete discussion.
Strive
for a solution but if one is not reached, reschedule a time
to continue. Don’t give up. Remember there’s another
world besides yours and you must exist in both. Compromise
is always a good choice. If you’re wrong, take responsibility
and change. If no solution is apparent, professional help may
be needed. Communication will not solve all your problems but
it’s a good beginning. Click
here for powerful, proven methods to get your
marriage back on track. Learn the 6 most common reasons for
divorce and
what you can do to stop it. It is my KissMeGoodnight recommendation
- and highly suggested.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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