KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
How
To Be Your Own Marriage Counselor
Love and marriage may go together like a horse
and carriage but sometimes they become unhitched. Marriage
without love is like a carriage without a horse…one without
the other is not going anywhere. Perhaps your marriage is suffering
a severe lack of love and you’re thinking about mounting the
nearest available horse and getting the heck out of marriageville.
Wait! Maybe you and your spouse should seek counseling…or
better yet be your own counselor. It can be done but it takes
a concentrated plan of action from both the husband and wife.
Most couples, in
time of trouble, resort to their basic instincts
of hate, disrespect, demands and anger. There goes the respect
and love that will eventually be replaced by hate which could
result in divorce.
You must take action to avoid divorce which is a life changing
occurrence, usually not for the better. Create a plan
to restore your love and respect. You’ve been playing your marriage by
ear day by day and trusting your instincts. This may work for
awhile, even a few years, but as marriage breeds apathy you
must seek and plan for a rekindling of that old flame
Remember
how emotional you were when you first fell in love? When you’re in love your emotions enable you to contribute
to each other’s emotional needs. These range from being honest,
admiring, communicating and being affectionate. You did and
felt these qualities quite naturally early in your relationship.
But, as love faded so did your emotions.
Love, no doubt, is the most important quality in a relationship
but it takes more sometimes to make a marriage survive. It
requires your willingness and ability to care and protect each
other. Half hearted love and dedication will make it difficult
to swim upstream when the waters get rough.
Know that love is both give
and take, but if you’re keeping
score of how much you give and your spouse takes your marriage
might be doomed from the start. There will be both giving and
receiving of bads and goods. Sometimes you’re the giver and
sometimes the taker. Know how to do both with love and affection.
It may call for a change in your behavioral
patterns. If you’re
prone to angry outbursts and criticizing replace these with
calmness and compliments. Making your spouse feel good is something
you should enjoy doing. Husbands and wives need a certain amount
of undivided attention. Don’t let volunteer work, family, work
or children get in the way.
As your own counselor you must learn
to negotiate and come
to a joint agreement that is pleasant and thoughtful. Look
at the problems from all sides and that could include more
than yours and your spouse. Brainstorm and offer creative solutions.
If you get angry, stop negotiating and come back later.
Nobody
said marriage is easy and neither is being your own marriage
counselor. At least you’re making an effort to become
a better spouse in hopes of salvaging your marriage.
Believe
in yourself and you will believe in others.
Click
here for powerful, proven methods to get your
marriage back on track. Learn the 6 most common reasons for
divorce and
what you can do to stop it. It is my KissMeGoodnight recommendation
- and highly suggested.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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