KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
Marriage
Problems Don’t Happen Overnight!
A country singing star once commented that
it just took him 20 years to become an overnight success. He
probably didn’t even recognize the process himself but each
song, each concert, took him one step closer to stardom.
Each public appearance garnered him a few more fans until
they numbered in the thousands. Suddenly he was a star who
some considered an overnight success. They failed to recognize
the long road traveled and the almost imperceptible changes
in the artist that made him better and better.
Marriage can become an overnight success too but it may take
you 20 years or more to believe it. The failure of marriage
can also happen suddenly because you didn’t recognize the signs
of trouble day after day. Marriage issues creep into our lives
and can go unnoticed for years while eating away at love’s
foundation. Some issues can cause bigger problems than others.
Alcoholism is an issue that can slowly alter a marriage until
it leads to separation or divorce. The drinking issue resulted
in only a minor argument when your spouse had one too many
at a party but the problem grew. Soon, they wouldn’t stop with
one or two drinks, it was several drinks every day. Drinking
continues until they begin to pass out and have no idea how
they got home.
Slowly you notice the beginning of binge drinking and the
promises made but not kept. They’re probably drinking at work
where you won’t notice. Too much drinking often leads to abuse
and violence. Then it’s easier to spot. Alcoholics are married
to the bottle not to you. You wish you would have been aware
of the problem sooner, when there was hope.
A
controlled relationship is also an issue than can grow slowly.
This is where one person begins to feel manipulated or intimidated.
Control is increased little by little and gets faster when
the controller meets no resistance. You failed to notice it
at first and many times you figure it’s best to allow the control
to keep peace and avoid a confrontation.
Be aware of the controller’s low
self esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Refuse to become timid and passive or over time
it could lead to more power and abuse. Just say no and mean
it when you say you’re not going to change your mind. If there
is no change then know the controller loves power more than
you and you may have to terminate the relationship.
Trust can dwindle over the years and go unnoticed because
it’s an issue you don’t want to admit. If you can’t trust your
spouse, then who can you trust? Again watch for consistent
broken promises that become more frequent while your trust
turns into mistrust. You feel you can forgive only so much
and so long. A marriage without trust is difficult to heal
and continue.
There are many more issues that can slowly infect a marriage
and when you finally become aware of them it’s as if they
unexpectedly materialize. A successful marriage is a watchful
one.
# # # # #
KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
> Home > Save
My Marriage
Articles: Main Page
|
