KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
Marriage
Counselor Secrets To Saving Your Marriage
Saving your marriage is no easy trick. With
the divorce rate increasing each year one must wonder how the
institution of marriage has survived this long. Marriage problems
can surface immediately after the wedding or can become evident
many years later.
No matter when problems rear their ugly head in a marriage
steps must be taken as soon as possible to rectify the situation
or resign yourself to defeat. There are many ways to mend a
troubled marriage including counseling. Many couples fail to
seek counseling soon enough as their problems get more serious
and more difficult to resolve.
Marriage counseling is relatively new, as most counseling
goes, being around for about 50 years, give or take a decade.
At first, it was not a popular method of treatment with macho
husbands saying if our marriage has problems we can solve them
ourselves. And, sometimes this is true.
More
often than not couples need guidance to see themselves
as they really are and not how they think they are. Marriage
counseling has been viewed as having real value only for the
last twenty years or so.
It’s hard to pinpoint the exact time of recognized value because
counseling is not for everyone and counselors realize that.
They also realize that a counselor who has helped one marriage
may not be able to help another. Find one you’re comfortable
with.
Counseling is more effective when the couple is committed
to resolving their problems and is sincere in seeking help.
Counselors teach acceptance and this means accepting and respecting
your spouse’s views and habits even though you may not agree
and find certain habits annoying. Remember, you’re merging
two different lives in a marriage and your goal is to emerge
as one, stronger yet malleable.
Counselors
want you to communicate. It’s not unusual for one
person in a marriage to be talkative and expressive while the
other is detached and unable to express their feelings. It’s
obvious both are suffering pain even though one appears to
be doing all the suffering because they express themselves
and how they’re feeling and how they hurt.
It’s the counselor’s job to find the reason for the pain and
to replace it with love. Seems simple, huh? Well, you obviously
loved your spouse before the marriage and more than likely
it’s still there sulking somewhere beneath the pain. Counselors
enable the couple to once again grasp that love which will
heal the pain.
Relax. It’s good if you can relax together but don’t wait
for your spouse to begin relaxation techniques which can be
learned and taught to the other. Relaxation makes communication
easier both with the counselor and your spouse. It’s difficult
to achieve self understanding when you’re uptight. When you
strive for inner calm, your attitude improves and so will your
marriage.
Your marriage can be saved if you strive for acceptance, communication
and relaxation. It takes practice and devotion. You can achieve
these things on your own but a marriage counselor can sometimes
speed the process.
Click
here for powerful, proven methods to get your
marriage back on track. Learn the 6 most common reasons for
divorce and
what you can do to stop it. It is my KissMeGoodnight recommendation
- and highly suggested.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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