KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
What
is the Most Common Marriage Problem?
The
most common problem in marriage could well be entering
into a relationship thinking there will be
no problems. This is highly unrealistic but couples recite
wedding vows daily wearing the proverbial rose-colored glasses.
This is not to say you should enter into marriage expecting
problems but be aware that they will occur and if you’re not
prepared to handle them then that could be another problem.
There is a difference between the most common problems in
marriage and the most serious or threatening. Of course, any
problem could be threatening if not resolved in a timely manner.
Marriage counselors have said that one
of the most common issues they have to resolve for couples
is their ability to
manage conflict. The ability to manage conflict can be more
damaging than the conflict itself.
The basic reasons husbands and wives fail to solve their problems
themselves is lack of communication. Instead of talking the
problem out and brainstorming for a solution they become defensive
and refuse to take responsibility for any wrongdoing. This
leads to turning their back on the issue and walking away refusing
to negotiate further.
When communication is tried, too often it turns into a word
fight filled with name calling and criticism. No one likes
to be called bad names and no one likes to be criticized so
the communication attempt is interrupted and probably won’t
be resumed until the disrespect is softened. Good communication
must include respect for the other’s opinion.
Read almost any book on marriage problems and they will list
the most common as sex, money and children. Those are the broad
headings and they have many sub-headings with one problem leading
to another.
If a spouse is unable to cope with any of these three problems
it can lead to boredom and frustration. The old marriage myth
warns of the seven year itch. Couples now have begun scratching
early and some even suffer from the seven month itch.
The domino effect continues as spouses seek understanding
and comfort in the arms of another leading to unfaithfulness
which is one of the most common infamous problems.
It’s common because it often goes so long without being detected
and the spouse is the last to know.
Not having enough money to pay the bills can destroy a spouse’s
respect for the breadwinner. She or he will likely start hoarding
money in a secret account for fear of not having enough. If
this is detected, it creates a wall of distrust. Money matters
should be outlined in the beginning while courting to avoid
unexpected financial surprises.
Children are usually a blessing in a marriage but can create
problems if the husband or wife is not ready to accept responsibility
for rearing children. Resentment arises for both the spouse
and the child.
The number one common marriage problem is almost impossible
to pinpoint. What’s common with one marriage is not even felt
in another. Perhaps the most common is expecting there will
be no problems.
Click
here for powerful, proven methods to get your
marriage back on track. Learn the 6 most common reasons for
divorce and
what you can do to stop it. It is my KissMeGoodnight recommendation
- and highly suggested.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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