KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Save My Marriage
Uh Oh. I Need To Save My Marriage...NOW!
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7 Marriage Tips for Newlyweds in Trouble
No matter how long you’ve been married, the
relationship will have problems. You probably remember your
mom and dad arguing and they had been married forever, or so
it seemed. New marriages are no different. You’re going to
have arguments, fights and disagreements even though a short
while ago, before the marriage, you thought your partner could
do no wrong.
Now that you’re married you may have noticed a few changes
in your spouse’s personality along with things that just downright
annoy you. Go ahead talk about it, even argue a little, but
fight fair. Fighting fair is something your mom and did learned
over the years and could be the reason they’re still together.
A fair fight or argument can save your marriage too.
Don’t let little petty
annoyances bother you until it builds
up and explodes into a full blown fight. Small things are easier
to solve than larger ones and the longer you wait before addressing
the issue the bigger it becomes.
Know
what the issue is and stick to it. If you outline exactly
what the problem is it’s easier to work out ways to solve the
problem. Make a list of the problems and what can be done to
remedy the situation.
Brainstorm until you either resolve the difference or become
too tired to continue. Many times if you go to bed and sleep
on it you forget what the argument was about anyway especially
if you snuggle.
Change
one bad habit at a time. As you do this, make an effort
to replace the bad habit with a good one. This gives you both
a goal to strive for. Share these goals and work toward them.
When you achieve a goal, no matter how small, reward yourself
or each other.
Keep
your voice calm and don’t scream and yell. A loud voice
will only provoke more anger and resentment. Be honest with
yourself and believe you can change a bad habit if you sincerely
want to, no matter how long you had this habit before you were
married. It probably didn’t seem so bad then.
A fair fight is no name calling and not bringing up skeletons
from the past. In the heat of an argument it’s easy for bad
words to tumble out of your mouth and once they’re out there
there’s no getting them back. Harsh word and accusations about
one’s past can be needlessly hurtful. This is your new life,
the past is over and you move forward together from this point
on.
Be
willing to forgive. You may beg for forgiveness yourself
one day. When you hold on to grudges and past hurts and disappointments
it’s hard to forgive. You must be open and honest and know
that neither one of you is perfect. True forgiveness takes
time so be patient. If you continue to brood and even seek
revenge, the pain will linger and the marriage waters will
never smooth.
Be
willing to make a commitment. This means accepting the
consequences which may be a bitter pill to swallow. No one
said marriage would always be smooth sailing but if you both
paddle together in the same direction even the rough waters
can be fun.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2009
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