KissMeGoodnight Article Series: Save My Relationship
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Discover the Root Cause of Your Relationship Problems

If a list were to be made of the problems possible in a marriage or relationship it would probably fill a small book.  Then, just when you think the list is complete someone else comes up with a different one.

Relationship problems are as numerous as there are people in the world.  We’re all unique and what one person views as a problem, someone else may find helpful.  It's difficult if not impossible to generally pinpoint a root problem for everyone unless each perosn is examined individually.

Since you’re unique, the problems you are experiencing in your relationship may indeed have a unique root cause.  Discovering that root problem may be difficult, but with due diligence and commitment it can be found.  It begins with your discovering and examining yourself and your partner. 

Self discovery comes from communicating with your partner with sincere conversations about the issues at hand.  Unless you can narrow down the troubling issue, you must proceed slowly and the process will lead to more clarity.  Most of the usual problems should be discussed at length before marriage between you, your intended spouse and a qualified counselor or at least an unbiased person.

A majority ofmarriage counselors will agree that most issues which cause conflict stem from three things:  money, sex and children.  If a relationship can reach an agreeable balance on these three issues then you’ve gone a long way toward a successful marriage. 

All three of these can rip a relationship apart if a mutual agreement or compromise cannot be reached.  Assuming you’ve resolved the three most common problems in a relationship, let’s move on to other possible causes to see if you recognize a root problem.

Lack of trust is a major contention especially in a young marriage.  Trust must be earned in all things from use of money to infidelity.  Sit down and have a talk focusing only on trust.  Share your feelings.  If one of you feels the other is not being totally honest then the trust issue is not resolved. 

Being trustworthy requires a commitment on both parties to always be fair, truthful, consistent and do what you say you will do.  It also means being sensitive, respectful and acting as a good listener. 

Good relationships demand your undivided attention, especially when having a problem solving sit down.  Things will go wrong so don’t overreact.  Being sensitive means not bringing up old wounds. This opens up scars that should have been healed.

Compatibility is often at the root of many relationships.  What attracted you to your spouse in the first place?  Did you share a common interest in music, reading or sports?

But to build a harmonious relationship, it must go deeper than that.  You must have common goals with similar attitudes and values.  Be realistic and realize that the two of you are different.  Seek out the root of your problem together and it will be found and solved.

Click here for 50 secrets on how to have a happy, blissful and loving relationship. It is my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.

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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2011

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