KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Sex Life
I Want A Better Sex Life. Teach Me How.
How
Do I Talk About Sex With My Partner?
Sexuality is a very personal topic to most
people. But when you're in a relationship, you need to be able
to share your innermost thoughts and feelings in order to be
truly intimate. Conversation is the primary way we learn about
each other and reveal ourselves, but many of us don't have
a lot of practice talking about delicate subjects. You understand,
intellectually, that an open discussion with your partner about
your love life will help you understand each better. But where
do you even begin? Here are some tips for talking about sex
with your partner.
When is the best time to talk?
Some couples like to reminisce about the encounter they just
had while still in that afterglow state. On the other hand,
if you or your partner is more interested in going to sleep
afterwards, that may not be the best time for a meaningful
talk. Many conversations about sex are better off taking place
outside the bedroom. If you're feeling nervous or you're worried
about your partner's reaction, choose a more neutral, non-sexual
setting for the chat. Find a point in the day when both of
you are feeling relaxed and don't have to rush off somewhere.
How do you begin the conversation?
Just start. If you're feeling awkward, admit it. Let your
partner know that this kind of conversation is tough for you,
but it's also really important to you and you want to give
it a shot.
Use "I" statements that take responsibility for
your own actions and feelings. Praise and compliment your partner
as much as you can. Think about what you want the end result
of the conversation to be. In the broadest terms, your goal
is to become closer to your partner and for both of you to
enjoy an even more satisfying love life together. To do that,
you must hold a positive and affirming attitude. Be encouraging
rather than critical of your partner. For example, instead
of saying, "I hate when you do X," you could say, "X
is nice, but I really like Y and you are so good at Y that
I'd love for you to do more of it."
What do you talk about?
For starters, you may want to talk about what you like and
how you feel during certain activities. You could bring up
something new you've heard about and might want to try. If
you need something, ask for it. Be as specific as you can.
In addition, you definitely want to find out what gets your
partner into the perfect sexual groove. What really turns him
or her on the most? You may think you know what to do and how
to do it, but I'm willing to bet that your partner has a few
secret fantasies or yearnings that he or she has never mentioned.
Be sure to listen to your partner without judgment.
If you are not in the habit of discussing sex with your partner,
a conversation about the subject can be nerve-wracking to anticipate.
Choosing the right time for a talk, being specific about what
you need, and listening attentively to your partner are all
things that will make the discussion more useful. Honest communication
with your partner will go a long way towards creating the kind
of intimate relationship you both want. > For
More Info On Reviving A Stale Sex Life - Download My Free
How-To Guide
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2010
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