KissMeGoodnight
eLearning Series:
Your Sexual Health
Sex
Education:
Talking To Your Teenager about Sex
Many
parents find is difficult to talk to their children about
sex. They are not sure when they should
have this conversation or maybe they give the child too much
information. The reality is that talking to your children about
sex starts very early. When they first ask simple questions,
you respond with simple answers. You talk to them according
to the information they are seeking. If they see you are embarrassed
on the subject, they will also be embarrassed. The best thing
to do is to stay relaxed and show them you are confident in
what you are teaching them. Here are some helpful ideas to
start the conversation.
Share
your values with your children, but remember as they
grow up they will be making their own choices and their values
may not always reflect yours. Giving your child all the facts
pertaining to sex is important. Make them aware that unprotected
sex has consequences. Talk to them about the different forms
of birth control and that both the male and female are responsible
for birth control – not just the female. When you talk to your
children about sex, keep it light and funny. Try not to take
on a serious attitude that will scare them. Let your child
know that they can come to you with any questions they may
have and assure them that you will not over-react. Share with
them what your desires are for them and reassure them that
you will support them through the all the changes they will
go through.
Children
have always learned from parental examples from their earliest
days. During this time of change, they will be watching
their parents even closer. When parents tell them they can
ask them anything, do they really mean it? Will you as a parent
listen calmly to their fears and/or questions? They are becoming
teenagers. Teenagers test the limits, and testing their parents
is all part of the limits. Remember to not try to control them.
Rather be patient with them while you describe to them there
are consequences to all behavior. If they make choices that
are poor in judgment, they will have to own that. Let your
children know the difference between love and sex. Share with
them the power of sexual attraction and that it takes will
power to make the right decision. Remind them that love takes
time to cultivate and respects each other. Let them know that
love does not always mean sex. Often teenagers think being
aroused is the same as being in love and therefore they think
they can have sex because they love each other. Children learn
facts about sex in school. They learn moral through religious
training. The rest of life’s lessons come from the family.
Parents can be watchful for moments that come in their teenager’s
life that they can use as “teachable moments.” Those little
life lessons that pop up every so often that open the eyes
of a teenager to consequences of their actions or the decisions
made by their friends. When you talk to your teenager about
sex and put it on their level instead of coming with the attitude
of I am the parent you are the child you will be a better success
rate of them listening to you.
Teenagers
with a great sense of self will probably make wiser
choices regarding decisions about their sexual encounters.
They often live with the misconception that all of their friends
are having sex, so they should as well. They do not want to
be left out or worse, teased for not having sex. Therefore,
unless your teenager is self-confident enough to make it clear
that they have made a choice, they will probably cave to peer
pressure and have sex. The downside to this is the sex they
do experience will probably be without protection, thus, the
likelihood of contracting a sexual disease is increased. When
the teenager is confident, they may also choose to engage in
sexual activity but they will do so with the knowledge of sexually
transmitted diseases and are more likely to use protection.
A final note to parents, when you are talking to your teenager
about sex it is very important to tell them about the sexually
transmitted diseases, the statistics of how rampant they are,
and how they can protect themselves against contracting a disease.
If you leave this part out of the conversation, you are really
wasting your time talking to them in the first place. # # # # #
by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2006
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