Shortening The Wedding Guest List: Compromise

The wedding guest list can be the most daunting and sometimes even emotionally stressful task of planning a wedding. Who do you invite and whom do you cut? Breaking the list down in segments and having clear and objectionable goals can make the task of choosing who to invite and who to leave off the list easier. Here are a few guidelines you can follow when paring down your list of invitees for the big day. First order of business should be to make a master list, one that will include anyone whom you feel you would like there with you when you have the biggest moment of your life. Here’s how:

Start by including the obvious candidates, closest friends, immediate family and anyone from your past that keeps in touch on a fairly regular basis. Next, you will need to assemble a list of people whom you do not speak to on a regular basis, such as an old friend that meant a lot to you, or one who was close to your spouse. This can easily include old college friends or sports teammates. Now, compile the two lists together and see what you have. It might not be a bad idea to have your parents and your soon-to-be in-laws compile lists of people that they would like to see there, as well. Then have the lists sent to you. Again, once that is done, compile the entire group together. This is the big picture and the numbers are actually staggering when seen all together. Unless you plan on the party to be in an old abandoned warehouse, you might want to remember that most venues that hold such events as receptions have head limits due to safety and fire regulations, not withstanding space. The more you invite will surely increase the dollars spent as well.

Now the not so pretty side of wedding guest lists, is the paring down. Immediately on reviewing the list, chances are you will find names you do not know. Those names are people of whom the parents and in-laws have invited. Unless they state they really want this person there and this person has made a major impact on your life, scratch that person. That person probably will not attend anyway. Distant third cousins, twice removed can be removed, too. Friends you have not seen for many years can be scratched off your list. Your mother’s mail carrier can be excluded, too. Coworkers that you do not associate with outside of work can be taken off the list, too. This, by all means, should be done with the help of your soon-to-be spouse, as to avoid conflict or hurting their feelings by taking out someone whom they truly did want at the wedding. The notion of inviting someone to your wedding simply because they invited you, a week ago or ten years ago should go right out the window, this is merely reciprocity and is not honestly necessary. This task is by all means not a very pleasant one. Excluding someone from your wedding plans can make you feel ungrateful and unappreciative. This is a natural feeling to have, but not any reason to invite someone to your wedding you currently are not close to.

Increasing the amount of people that you have intention on inviting only adds misery to your plans as the total costs escalate. There are many factors that can create havoc on the whole process, including seating arrangements, food and alcohol, and wait staff. The longer the list, the longer it takes to coordinate the reception, with regards to serving meals and laying out the different steps that can be rather time consuming in the reception. It may be an issue of parking for all the vehicles that will be transporting the guests; the facility may not be accommodating. The idea of cutting a list down to a reasonable number is not an act of contempt or nastiness, it is your day and you have every right to decide whom you want or do not want at your wedding. You have the right to invite those who you truly love and feel the closest to.

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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2006

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