Wedding
Jitters? Tips To Deal with Cold Feet
- by KissMeGoodnight.com
Feelings of anxiety and concern are completely
normal prior to a wedding. One or both members of the couple
may experience the cold feet phenomenon that overshadows them
and causes them to become concerned over their upcoming wedding.
Usually this feeling is not a cause for concern and
it passes naturally on its own as your realize that you are more excited
than anxious but the following are a few tips for helping to
work through your cold feet issues.
The first tip for dealing with cold feet is simply to relax
and realize that this happens to a lot of people in your situation. This is important because many people will get caught up in
believing that these feelings mean that they shouldn’t go through
with their wedding. Realizing that your feelings are completely
naturally will help to waylay these fears.
After you calm down, get
out a piece of paper and pen and just start listing all
of your anxiety. This is particular
helpful because you may have a great deal of trouble doing
this which is significant because it helps you to realize that
you don’t really have anything to worry about. The other scenario
is that you may find that you have a long list of fears and
may be amused to find that none of them are really logical.
Sometimes seeing your concerns listed on paper helps to alleviate
them.
Another tip for dealing with cold feet is to talk
to your partner about your feelings. Many people are hesitant to this
because they are embarrassed about their feelings but talking
to your loved one can really help in this situation. Chances
are that they know you better than anyone and can assist you
working through these things. They may even confess similar
feelings which helps you to realize that cold feet are completely
natural.
If you feel that talking to your partner will further exacerbate
the problem consider talking to a close friend instead. Just
talking about your anxiety can help to relieve the tension.
Once you verbalize your fears you are likely to find that they
begin to dissipate and you start to relax and look forward
to your upcoming wedding.
Another tip for dealing with cold feet is to talk
to a friend who has recently married to get their perspective
on married
life. They will be able to tell you how well things are going
for them which should ease your fears about the transition
to married life. They will also be able to assure you that
they had similar feelings of anxiety and that there is no cause
for concern.
Making
two lists; one of your fears and one of your reasons for
marrying your partner, can help to alleviate cold feet.
Once you make this list you will most likely see that the reasons
that you want to get married far outweigh your fears. Sometimes
just seeing this on paper is very beneficial to eliminating
cold feet.
Writing
a love letter to your partner can be another way to
combat the feelings of cold feet. This process gives you a
chance to ponder all the reasons why you love your partner.
Expressing your feelings in a love letter can refocus your
attention on what you love most about your partner and make
you realize that the small things you are worrying about are
really inconsequential.
Going
through old photos of you and your partner can also
help to ease the anxiety of cold fit. Looking through pictures
from your courtship is a great way to remind you of all the
fun times you and your partner have had together and will help
you realize that there are still lots of fun times together
in store for the two of you.
Spending
some time away from the planning process is another
way to help alleviate cold feet. Wedding anxiety is often spurred
on by other problems such as the stresses of the wedding planning.
This stress can put you on edge and make problems seem bigger
than they really are. Take a trip to spa or spend an afternoon
participating in an activity you enjoy to take your mind off
of all the details that are still remaining for a little while.
Finally, if after examining the reason for your cold feet,
you come to realize that there are serious issues at hand it
is advisable to postpone the wedding until these issues can
be resolved. If your concerns are valid and your relationship
is potentially harmful either physically or emotionally you
may need to seek professional help. Issues such as abuse, addiction
and betrayal can be reasons to cancel a wedding and discontinue
the relationship.
Cold feet of feelings of anxiety over your impending wedding
are perfectly normal. Many brides and grooms have these feelings
and in most cases they are completely harmless. It is, however,
important to trust your instincts and if there is something
seriously wrong with your relationship, it may be wise to cancel
the wedding.
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KissMeGoodnight.com : 2005
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