KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Dating Tips For Women
I Just Want a Great Guy, Dammit!
Sex
and Intimacy Advice When Dating
Inside every adult male is their sex-crazed
adolescent self still trying to push the limits. In his mind,
there is a magic number of dates after which you automatically
have sex. He may think it’s two or three dates or maybe two
or three hours into the first date.
Meanwhile, you think he’s sexy, but that doesn’t mean you’re
ready to slide between the sheets with him. So how
do you know when the time is right? For generations, mothers have repeated
the admonition, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk
for free?”
That homespun example tells you that if you give sex too soon,
then he has no reason to make a commitment. If sex for you
demands at least a serious relationship with the potential
to become permanent, then hold off until the time is right
for you.
On
the other hand, you don’t expect him to hang around if all
he gets is a polite peck on the cheek at the end of the
evening. It’s a difficult line to walk between prude and slut.
Another great truth is that men are quick to announce declarations
of love to get sex and women give in on sex in the hope that
it will lead to love.
At any point in the deal if either party is dishonest, then
the physical connection becomes profane. As a woman, you crave
intimacy with your guy. If he’s mature enough to keep himself
in check, you can both enjoy some closeness and touching that
builds intimacy without pushing things too far too fast.
A smart guy knows that he keeps his zipper shut long enough
to build genuine caring and intimacy. Then when the time is
right he’s going to have the best sex of his life. It’s all
about putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own - something
that women have done for centuries and men still sometimes
don’t comprehend.
If you don’t give him sex, you might lose him. Then let him
go. His insistence on sex early in the dating relationship
tells you that it’s all about him and you are merely a convenience.
Do you want to be his whore, his toy or his maid? That’s sex
not intimacy. If you start out merely meeting his sexual needs
and taking leftovers for yourself, don’t expect it to get any
better if you do form a long term relationship.
No matter how he tries to argue the point, sex is not the
way to find out whether you are compatible as a couple. Sex
is only one aspect of your relationship. There are plenty of
couples who have wild, fantastic sex but can’t get along in
a normal conversation.
They
passed the sex test, but they still went through a messy
divorce. How reliable was that test? He may also tell you
that
the relationship will only progress as long as you continue
to have sex.
With that kind of twisted logic, then as soon as you have
sex, you are in a committed relationship. Wrong. The so called
“friends with benefits’ may have regular sex and in no way
consider themselves in a committed relationship.
Intimacy is what connects couples through all types of joys
and sorrows - including times when due to distance or illness,
sex isn’t possible. If you want to find that kind of intimate
relationship, you won’t find it in the bedroom on the first
date.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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