KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Dating Tips For Women
I Just Want a Great Guy, Dammit!
How
To Get a Great Guy to Ask You Out
If you think it’s tough sitting on the sidelines
with your girlfriends waiting for a guy to talk to you, then
you aren’t looking at the guy’s situation. He has to walk over
and make contact with you while you’re surrounded by your girlfriends.
You
have support - he’s going it alone. If his approach works,
he wins. If he fails, he has to endure the snickers of your
girlfriends and walk back to the smart remarks by his guy friends.
Every time he gets rejected, he relives that awful moment
in junior high school when he was embarrassed at the school
dance. It’s a wonder guys even try. That’s enough sympathy
- women have their share of dating issues, too.
The point is - what can you do as a female to be more approachable
for the right kind of guys? Help them out a little. To begin
with, you can start a conversation. Not a female version of
a pickup line, but a real conversation.
If
you’re stuck in a long line at the grocery store, talk about
what’s around you. “Can you believe how the price has
gone up for a good steak?” “Before you buy that detergent,
did you know that another good brand has a two for one sale?”
As simple as that sounds, it says, “Hey, I’m willing to talk
to you” in a nice, non-threatening way. Admire his car at the
gas station or his mountain bike at the park, but don’t get
personal about clothes or anything that screams “pickup.”
By keeping the conversation neutral, you get the chance to
find out if you’re interested in taking it further. Even if
a guy opens the door for you, instead of just mumbling “thanks,”
look him in the eyes and say, “Thank you, I appreciate it when
a guy opens doors for me.”
That’s flattering, which immediately gets his attention and
gives him a chance to join the conversation if he’s interested
- or say, “You’re welcome” and move on if he’s not interested.
Maybe this helps you start to think of places and situations
where you could throw out a non-sexual opening line for a guy
to follow and start a conversation. Since you spoke first in
a gracious manner, he has some assurance that you’re willing
to talk, which makes it easier for him to follow your lead
without feeling like he’s being manipulated.
Is this just manipulation? No, it’s not - as long as you offer
sincere comments and have an open mind about getting to know
him. Can you start a conversation with a man on the street
or in a restaurant without a reason?
Yes, you can - no one is going to report you to the Manners
Police. Think about where you are and what’s going on around
you. Starting a conversation with a man in a crowded bar on
Friday night is likely to be interpreted differently than making
small talk while you’re in the same airport waiting area with
him.
Place and time has a lot to do with whether you appear approachable
and interesting or desperate. And if you aren’t willing to
strike up the conversation, at least be inviting for men who
have to work up the nerve to talk to you first.
Make sure your arms aren’t folded in front of your chest or
that you aren’t rolling your eyes and scowling at everyone
and everything around you. Be pleasant and smile and even if
he’s not your type, that doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly
to someone who took the time to try to get to know you.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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