KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Dating Tips For Women
I Just Want a Great Guy, Dammit!
How
To Meet Men Who Share Your Values
Ask a couple who has been married for 25 or
50 years what keeps their relationship alive and they usually
tell you that they have important things in common. It may
be animal magnetism that draws your attention to a man, but
it’s not enough to keep you together over the decades.
His wavy dark hair turns gray and falls out. His six pack
abs fall into his six pack drinking beer belly. The time he
spent gazing into your eyes is now spent in a trance before
the television set watching NASCAR.
There has to be something more than sex or fascination that
keeps a couple together. Couples who share the same values
have a bond that goes beyond physical attraction. It’s a foundation
for their relationship.
If you’re from a family with strong
ethnic or cultural heritage,
then you need to find a man who shares that background. Otherwise,
your relationship will be strained each time his family values
and yours collide.
In some families, marrying outside of the ethnicity
or faith creates serious divisions between you and your family. You
may say that you’ll give up family for love, but how will you
feel about this after you have children?
Even the issue of whose values or faith will be practiced
by the children is enough to tear apart relationships. There
are a few high status couples in the media who come from different
sides of the political spectrum.
You may be conservative
and he’s liberal - which makes for
lively conversations. But if your political beliefs are radically
different, this is going to impact how well your friends mix
and how you live out your beliefs.
A materialistic woman who falls for a dedicated environmentalist
starts a relationship with so many opposite values. She wants
all of the latest appliances and finds recycling to be too
much trouble.
He sorts her trash to make certain that plastics and paper
are in recycle bins. In time, they will resent each other for
those differences. You don’t have to look for a guy who is
your philosophical, spiritual and emotional clone to be happy.
Differences of opinion can be healthy - and even exciting.
But differences that tear at the essence of the beliefs about
who you are and your place in the universe become divisive
and quarrelsome in any relationship.
Perhaps the best way to find a mate who shares your most treasured
values is to go where like-minded people can be found. Maybe
that’s at a certain church or synagogue that represents your
spiritual beliefs.
If you are politically inclined, join that party’s local group
and work on campaigns. Environmentalists have many different
expressions of saving our world, so find one that you can care
deeply about and meet others who feel the same way.
Why go to a bar where you never know who’s being their real
self? You’ll find a better dating pool from people who share
your values, beliefs, ethnicity or culture, and in the meantime,
you’ll enjoy doing things that are meaningful to you.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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