KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Dating Tips For Women
I Just Want a Great Guy, Dammit!
Seeking
a Single Man? What To Look For...
Do you ever wonder if there are any guys out
there who are worth dating? Where are they? And why can’t you
find them? Yes, they’re out there - but maybe you’re looking
in the wrong places.
You might even know a great guy right now, but you’re passing
him by because you aren’t sure what you really want. Chances
are you’re letting yourself look for men the way you shop for
shoes - changing your mind with each new trend or mood.
Finding the right single man is not about pleasing your friends
or a competition for attracting the hottest guy at the party.
Finding the right single man only happens when you know what
you want in a man.
Think of man hunting like bargain hunting at a clearance sale.
Sure, the neon orange skirt is 80% off the regular price, but
where would you wear it? That conservative black suit is a
classic, but your style is sporty and casual - it just doesn’t
fit with the rest of your wardrobe.
Buying another tank top that’s not your size won’t look any
better because it’s on sale than the one you already have that
shrank in the wash. Mr. Neon Orange may be easy to lead around,
but he would never fit into your world.
Mr. Conservative Black Suit runs with a more formal crowd
than your flip flop loving crowd. Mr. Too-Tight Tank Top is
just like Mr. Jerk that you spent months crying over last year
- do you really want to do that again?
You have to know what you want in a man before you can find
him. So take out a piece of paper and draw three columns. The
left column is for “What’s Important,” middle column is for
“Requirements” and right column is for “Preferences.”
The “What’s Important” column includes such items as age,
income, appearance, moral value, habits like smoking/drinking,
common interests, sports, commitment style and family values.
Don’t try to fit any particular guys into this list - not
yet. Prepare this list with absolute honesty. Decide what characteristics
are “must haves” (Requirements) and which are “like to haves”
(Preferences).
Until you know this information, you really can’t make a solid
decision about any guy. Maybe you’ve ignored nagging requirements
in order to accept a certain guy as he is. That’s a relationship
red flag.
If you’re a personal trainer who is into natural foods, you
can make all the excuses in the world, but you won’t last with
a guy who smokes and craves fatty fast foods 24/7. The conflict
between what’s important to him and what’s important to you
means that one of you has to change.
Don’t
count on changing him. If you change your beliefs, how
much of yourself gets lost? Over time, you’ll either resent
him or resent yourself - the conflict in inevitable. Knowing
what you want is the fair way to date.
Why waste your time (and his) when the foundational elements
aren’t there? It’s also important to be honest with yourself
about the type of man that you really want. When you know how
to describe him, you’ll have an easier time recognizing him
when you meet him. Maybe you already know him - you just didn’t
know yourself!
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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